Tuesday, June 30, 2009

TRUST

Are you the type of person that tends to trust alot in people? Or are you the type of person that finds very hard to trust in people? Is this because of your own personal experiences perhahps? Honestly, i dont really tend to trust people with what they say or do, but i never really thought of how basic trust can stab you in the back real seriously. Where is the respect for privasi??

When trust is betrayed it can really cause you to loose your head. I'm sure that somebody you trusted has let you down before. There are many ways for this to happen. What happened to me is that i went to a camp with alot of people that i thought were my friends. Sadly as it seems one of them might not be a friend though. Although i have no proof that it really did happen it seems very likely that it did. While taking a shower i left my phone in my bag 'trusting' that no one will touch it. And i thought no one did.

A few days later after camp, i got a phone call from a friend. Apparently some one had checked my phone massages while i was in the shower in the camp, told someone else who then confronted my friend. Long line of communication i know, but what i heard seemed extremely likely to have the possibility of being true. One problem for me is that i cant varify the story with the person who allagedly checked my phone. This is because i had to promise not to because alot of factors were involved. But the time will come and if it proves true.....

Moral of this story?? Dont trust people, even those who seem to be your friends. Some trust of course has to exist but just be careful with things that could come back at you from the back.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Traffic Heavy


Just came back from hometown, really tired...Because the traffic was heavy...Traffic heavy almost make me felt tired+bad mood...Last Monday till Friday, at 12.30 p.m, I had to fetched my sister went to British Council ( near KLCC ) and picked her up at 4.45 p.m. I stay at Bandar Utama here, if go to there and go back have to consume at least 1 more hour...because of Jalan Ampang...Last Thursday, my sister asked me to fetched her at 6 p.m, and I leaf home at 5.30 p.m. Do you know how long I went there and came back??? 3++ hours...I really had bad mood on that day. What I observed was almost every driver can considered no tolerance at all...of course, included me, hehe~~ The reason I said so because driver will never allowed other driver jump the queue and one non-verbal message have brought out by the driver - get closer to in front car as close as possible... To me, I also did like that as well, but however, I will allowed the car jump the queue if the drivers "raise" up their hand ( non-verbal too), it was a manner phenomena for me. Thus, if you want to jump the queue, please did so, it often work!

Communication Competence

Today, Carmen, Polly, Xin Yi, Jasneeta and I visited an orphanage, named "Shelter Home" located in Jalan Gasing, Petaling Jaya. This particular one we visited is one of the three branches of Shelter Home, where there are only children who are 12 years old and below. We visited this orphanage as part of our Moral assignment. I brought a few of my childhood books I used to read or them.

When we arrived, we were greeted by the man in charge. However, only one boy, Edwin, greeted us wearing a cheeky smile on his face. At the orphanage, we served the pizza Polly brought for the children and played games with them. For effective communication with the children, we had to think like them and try to feel what they feel to reach out to them.

Through these activities, I realized that communicating with the children required great effort. The fact that there was an age gap really required competence. The way the children spoke was significantly different from the way I usually speak, so I had to lower my level of thinking to reach out to them.

When I was there, I put myself into their shoes and tried to understand them. At the same time, I made a conscious effort to avoid talking about any issues that were sensitive(such as their family). It helped a lot, made me more tolerant of their misbehavior and mischief. Children being children, they were happy to sit around and watch television or play with their toys. I believe at this age, they are not yet aware of the gravity of the situation they are currently in.

As Edwin, who was only 11 years old, was the only boy who reached out to me, I spent the most time with him. He was chatty and talked about the late Michael Jackson and told me that he worshiped Arnold Schwarzaneger! This clearly shows that we must have communication competence to able to form a rapport with people. He was an endearing little child.

What they would not give to have a family. Looking at these children, regardless how naughty or rebellious, I wondered to myself, how could their parents abandon them? Their lives are so delicate. They need to be loved. No matter how many visitors come to show their sympathy, it would never come anywhere close to a family's love.


Written by,
Hooi Kit Wei

Saturday, June 27, 2009

What Really Is In An Advertisement?



On Friday (26 June, 2009), Daniel, Damian, Jane and I went for the Leo Burnett + Arc Cannes Predictions 2009 Event at Sunway Lagoon Surf Beach. During the event, they aired a compilation of 51 advertisements from around the globe and we as participants were required to vote for 20 potential award winning advertisements. The video above was my favorite advertisement among the 51.

What is the purpose of advertisements? In my opinion, I would say that it is a tool used to persuade the public to buy or use a certain product or service. Advertisements fall under the category of mass communication, where messages are conveyed via printed or electronic media to the public. Having said this, there are also advertisements that "communicate" with the public differently, such as imparting knowledge or creating awareness.

After watching the "Cannes Prediction Reel", beside persuading the public, most of the advertisements had an underlying message. A good example would be this video which was also one of the advertisements shown during the event. Besides promoting their service, the company also hopes to create awareness amongst the public regarding the importance of family and that life is fragile. This advertisement touches the heart and is a wake up call to all of us to appreciate our loved ones.

Another example of advertisements that create awareness instead of promoting products is the "You Can Make A Difference" advertisement produced by the Malaysian government. This advertisement recreates real life accidents to alert the public about the importance of driving safely.

You could also gain knowledge just by watching advertisements. Take a classic shampoo advertisement for example. Other than just being promised soft and silky hair, most shampoo advertisements offer some information on its ingredients, educating us to some small extent.

The next time you watch and advertisement, see what emotions it evokes in you - you may feel more than they intended, and that indeed is a successful advertisement.


Written by,
Hooi Kit Wei

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Possibilities in dreams

Don't you just love dreaming?! Scary, happy, sad, funny its all in dreams. I love dreams, cause it lets you enter situations otherwise never possible in real life. For example, i once dreamt that my school was the site of the 'lord of the rings' movie, and we were fighting and running away from orcs (probably symobizing our teachers) until i got caught or killed or something. Cant remember the ending, but it was just plain AWESOME!!

Dreams also show you what might happen in your future if you decide to take a certain action or if something happens. Maybe in a situation of an earthquake or you get married or actually anything. Dreams help show you what could be and what can be. In other words showing you possible options or even solutions. This can someetimes be a great help in real life situations.

Even nightmares are cool! They just give you a rush. You wake up with your heart pumping like a... i'm at a loss of words. It just makes you feel like wow, what was THAT?! But nightmares tend to annoy me sometimes cause after dreaming them i often wanna go back to sleep but, for some reason or other, cant. But it is fun having nightmares sometimes. It also makes you appreciate that whatever you dream isnt going to relly happen (or so you hope).

Some of my favourite dreams is when i'm fighting, although often annoyin because you tend not to be able to move properly in your dream and sometimes even being a bit hazardous, i punched the wall once while i was sleeping. But i generally enjoy my dreams. They let you experience things that would otherwise never be possible.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Equivocation

Part of our interpretation of longer arguments included the step of defining all unknown or questionable terms in an argument. This skill is helpful in finding out if the fallacy of Equivocation has been committed. In this fallacy, the meaning of a crucial term is changed in the course of the argument. In the case of Ambiguity, the term in question has only been used once, but can be interpreted in many different ways, only one of which will support the argument. Here is some examples of equivocation.

1)Hot dogs are better than nothing. There's nothing better than steak. So hot dogs are better than steak.

2)An aspirin will make noisy children go away because noisy children are a headache and aspirin makes headaches go away.

3)Everything that runs has feet. The river runs. Therefore the river has feet.

4)Some birds are domesticated. My parrot is domesticated. Therefore, my parrot is some bird!

5)The publication ban in the Paul Bernardo case ought to be lifted. After all, there is a great public interest in the case and the courts always ought to act in the public interest.

6)I ought to do what is right. And I have the right to publish my pacifist opinions concerning the American actions in Afghanistan. Hence, I ought to publish them.

7)We are told that discrimination is morally wrong. But how can that be the case? We praise people all the time for being discriminating -- in their taste for good wine, books and friends, for example. From now on, I'm not going to be inhibited against discriminating against women when they apply for jobs in my department.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Setting your priorities straight

Some people dont know how to set their priorities straight, for them sometimes what is most important may just be last on their list. Apperently according to some people i seem to be that kind of person. Thinking about it i cant really blame them cause it certainly seems to be that way at times. But i dont really agree with them either.

Its true that i tend to take many things less seriously then i perhaps should be, but usually i notice that it wouldn't have made that much of a difference to the end product even if i had taken it more seriously or had started earlier. Of course this depends on the situations. Most of the time i still manage to get my things done and not produce an all to bad end product. However, Sadly this isnt always the case.

I also tend to love going out with my friends and being social, and this is usually more noticeable when it is exam time and i should apparently be studying instead. This seems to be misinterpreted as me being not responsible and not knowing how to manage my time or even saying things such as "you cant be in a relationship". I mean, seriously?! How is that even really related to a relationship?! Who is to say that i won't set my priorities right and have good time management for a relationship?

Well i am posting this post later then i should, so i guess my time management does suck. At least i had my priorities sort of set straight and studied for exams instead of doing this or going online etc. although i still managed to meet my friends and have a good time. Guess i'm rather useless at time management AND setting my priorities straight. Oh well... cheers!!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Facilitating Communication

The following general guidelines included facilitate communication.
1. Have a positive attitude about communication. Defensiveness interferes with communication.
2. Work at improving communication skills. It takes knowledge and work. The communication model and discussion of barriers to communication provide thenecessary knowledge. This increased awareness of the potential for improving communication is the first step to better communication.
3. Include communication as a skill to be evaluated along with all the other skills in each person's job description. Help other people improve their communication skills by helping them understand their communication problems.
4. Make communication goal oriented. Relational goals come first and pave the way forother goals. When the sender and receiver have a good relationship, they are much more likely to accomplish their communication goals.
5. Approach communication as a creative process rather than simply part of the chore of working with people. Experiment with communication alternatives. What works withone person may not work well with another person. Vary channels, listening techniques,and feedback techniques.
6. Accept the reality of miscommunication. The best communicators fail to have perfect communication. They accept miscommunication and work to minimize its negativeimpacts.

Are We Malaysians Rude?

I just got this e-mail today that talks about the significant differences in British English and Malaysian English. Here's a few examples:

When Asking Someone To Make Way
Britons: Excuse me, I would like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysians: S-kew me.


When Asking For Permission
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Malaysians: *points at door* Can ah?


When Doubting Someone
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians: Where got?


In Disagreeing On A Topic Of Discussion
Britons: Err, Tom. I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Malaysians: You mad ah?


When Someone Did Something Wrong
Britons: This isn't the way to do it. Here, let me show you.
Malaysians: Like that also don't know how to do!

From the excerpt, you can see that there a significant difference between British English compared to Malaysian's English (also known as "Manglish"). Even though Malaysia is supposedly following the British English, it can be said that we have developed our own way and style of language when we communicate. Therefore, it would not shocking if a British tourist in Malaysia brands us as being "rude".

The Malaysian style of communicating often comes with slangs, such as "la" or "ma" in our sentences. The usage of these slangs have become so common that most of us use it more than we are aware of. I feel that the slang used is useful when trying to emphasize a statement. Sometimes, I feel it is also used to soften an accusation. Take the statement "I thought you took my book, no meh?" for instance. Most Malaysians would use the slang "no meh" to take partial responsibility.

Overall, I personally do not think the slang used by Malaysians indicate that we are rude people if used with the proper tone and pitch. However, I feel that this way of communicating strongly reflects the culture of us Malaysians. Hardly a day goes by when we don't hear Manglish; I'm sure you agree with me, hor?


Written by,
Hooi Kit Wei

Saturday, June 20, 2009

She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not


To all the guys out there, how many times has a girl left you wondering if she's really in to you? It's common to find guys lamenting "Girls are so hard to understand!"

Recently, I came across this forwarded e-mail regarding the 10 ways girls show that they are interested, either verbally or non-verbally. Note that not every girl expresses their liking or love through these ways; remember, every girl is different. This is just a general guideline how guys can tell if a girl is interested in them. Below are the 10 ways stated, together with my elaboration and comments.


1. She always talks about the different varieties of guys.
She will always say that there are many fishes in the sea. Even though this may sound like she's not interested, she's just trying to get your attention by playing "hard to get".

2. She stares at you with a smile on her face.
Note the word "stare", which indicates that she'll keep that smile on their face and look intensely into your eyes, because she is just so happy to see your face. Basically, I would say most girls know that smiles melt a guys heart!

3. She always seems to be talking about how nice you are.
I believe this happens in Western countries more, as I feel most girls here are more shy and less direct. For me, I usually tell a guy I appreciate them indirectly by explaining that I feel bad repeatedly (note repeatedly) whenever he helps me with something.

4. She laughs at all your jokes.
To anyone else, your jokes are so lame they'd kill someone, but to her, you're anything but lame. This is mainly true, for me. No matter how lame or how stupid the guy's joke could be, I'd always laugh. Not because of the joke, but usually because of the look on his face when he presents the joke.

5. She'll ask you who you like, continuously.
Is this true? Maybe when she was young and at preschool or primary school, but for now, I don't think this occurs among college students, mainly because girls know that this sounds very intrusive and may annoy the guy.

6. She talks to your friends a lot.
Talking to a guy's friends is one way she tries to get to know you better, though there are extreme cases where stalking is part of the reason. For example, she'd probably want to find out what you do during your free time, or try her best to dig out information about any girl you have been eying lately.

7. She always flirts with every other guy, except you.
I believe most girls do this to show you "Hey, others here want me too, so if you don't come and get me fast, I'd be taken." Personally I don't think this is feasible because this most probably will hurt you (if you have feelings for her) or it may be a total turn off. At the same time, she would mislead the other guys she was flirting with.

8. She always tries to make you jealous.
Once again, this is to get your attention. In a way, this is to make you realize that you actually feel jealous when she's flirting with others, hoping that when you feel the pain, you'd come to realize that you actually like her too.

9. She begs you to do everything for her. From carrying her books to buying something for her, she tends to get your attention by asking you to do anything and everything for her.

10. She always asks you what to do in a bad situation.
Why you? It's because she trusts you, she needs you, she respects you. She believes that your decisions are perfect, and so she turns to you. Another type of situation is based on my observation on my friends. They like this particular guy, pretend that they are in a "love situation" and lament about this "situation" to the guy they like. However, I don't find this worthy as it may put a guy off as he probably thinks she is interested in someone else.

There you go guys. 10 ways on how to tell if she's in to you. Look carefully and you'll come to realize that hey, in real fact she was always interested in me, it's just that I never knew.


Written by,
Hooi Kit Wei

Friday, June 19, 2009

Space

That is true about every human needs a certain distance to define the relationship of other. Through the distance in a conservation, we actually can observed what type of the relationship are. Most dearly loved persons, families, sexual partners, and closer friends that involving touching ,embracing,and kissing will have an intimate space, from 0 to 1 1/2 feet. Human just allow some certain intimate person to permit this distance.

Personal space, from 1 1/2 to 4 feet is the conversation zone that almost are families and closer friends. Interaction here are informal and friendly. If someone join the conversation without invited even some people will beyond this distance, it will lead to the persons who are in the conversation felt uncomfortable. Next is social space, from 4 to 12 feet. This zone involves most group and working relationships. These interactions can be quite friendly, but leans in the direction of formality.

Lastly is about Public space, from 12 feet and beyond. Interpersonal communication is formal. Some communication can occur toward the 12 foot and but as the distance increases, the amount of interpersonal communication diminishes and become a matter of public speaking before and audience.

In some situation, very obvious that human will keep certain distance or will let certain distance toward them. For instance, if the theater have a lot of empty sit, people prefer to sit separate rather than sit next to each other. If a person sit next to you but there are a lot of empty sit, you will fell uncomfortable. In the contrary, if there have full of people, people will sit together they will felt nothing even sit next to a stranger. This is the same situation in lif and public transport like bus, LRT, train and so on.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION: Your Eyes Tell the Truth.

It is believed that our eyes can betray us when we tell lies. I have watched a few Hong Kong dramas where in between they mentioned about how the movement of our eyes is able to reveal the truth or lie behind our stories. And I googled it up.

looking up and to the left

Up and to the Left
Means: Visually Constructed Images (Vc)
When you asked someone to imagine a purple buffalo, this would be the direction their eyes moved in while thinking about the question as they "Visually Constructed" a purple buffalo in their mind.

looking up and to the right

Up and to the Right
Means: Visually Remembered Images (Vr)
If you asked someone what colour was their first house was, this would be the direction their eyes moved in while thinking about the question as they "Visually Remembered" the color of their childhood home.

eyes left

To the Left
Means: Auditory Constructed (Ac)
Question someone to try and create the highest sound of the pitch possible in your head, this would be the direction their eyes moved in while thinking about the question as they "Auditorily Constructed" this this sound that they have never heard of.

eyes looking right

To the Right
Means: Auditory Remembered (Ar)
Request someone to remember what their mother's voice sounds like, this would be the direction their eyes moved in while thinking about the question as they "Auditorily Remembered " this sound.

eyes down and to the left

Down and to the Left
Means: Feeling / Kinesthetic (F)
Say you want someone to recall the smell of a campfire, this would be the direction their eyes moved in while thinking about the question as they used recalled a smell, feeling, or taste.

looking down and to the right

Down and To the Right
Means: Internal Dialog (Ai)
This is the direction when they talk to themselves.

Try asking yourself.

  • What did you have for breakfast yesterday?
  • Remember the smell from your mother's cooking?
  • Imagine your best friend singing.
  • What colour was your first school bag?


Signed off,
PANG YUEN CHENG (QUEENIE)

Do You Even Know You At All?

Week 7 will probably be the busiest week ever since I started Semester 3. From presentation to mid term preparations, I have missed out two blog posts last week. Hence, I have four blog posts to be done this week. However, I am unsure of which topic I should blog about as there is no lessons commence within this week. Worse, sometimes I realised my team mates are not blogging regarding the topic we learnt during the particular week. I thought I might as well come up with my own topic.


Lately, I started to relearn about myself.


I DON'T KNOW
That is the worst answer given by anyone.
But I realised that is my answer for now.
"Hello. My name is I Don't Know. I don't know what I want. I don't know everything."


You may be my best friend, parents, pet, toys, diary or even boyfriend, well if I have one. But you may not know or don't want to know that I have decidophobia, which means fear of making decisions. It all started since years ago not until recently I realised how serious it has became.

I could be so indecisive that I do not use the traditional way by flipping a coin. Instead, I created my own style. I will look at the time. If the time at the moment ends with an odd number, it means just do it. If it ends with an even number, it means don't do it.

No promises. No warranty. Not realiable. But it helps me to decide when I'm in a dilemma. From picking what to wear to whether should I say it or not, I will always look at the digital time. From now onwards, I will not, NEVER depend on the time anymore. I must have more confidence in myself to decide which path to take and not just gamble with my life.


Signed off,
PANG YUEN CHENG (QUEENIE)

INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION: 10 oh-so-bored Facts.

It has become a habit to gather with my high school friends at least once every weekend. These are the only times where we cherish the most because these area also the only times we get to catch up with each other. We will talk about everything about oursevels and keep each other updated among ourselves. Recently, friends claimed that when we talk, I tend to hold back about certain issues regarding myself. For example, I would only tell 80% of the story, instread of telling out the whole story.
There are reasons why I refuse to explain everything in a full-length. Firstly, it's because I fear that they might not be interested and secondly, I don't know if it bothers them telling them everything about myself. Last but not least, I'd still prefer to maintain some privacy with me.
But now, I would like to share 10 oh-so-bored Facts you might don't even know about me.
  1. The last three digit in my cell phone number stands for my birthday.
  2. I sucked my left thumb until the age of 8.
  3. I love hot Milo that burns my tongue.
  4. I talk to my grandpa more than my father.
  5. Every morning, I snooze my alarm clock at least once.
  6. Boys scream over goals during a football match, but I scream over hot footballers.
  7. There are 28.9% of fats in my body.
  8. My biggest phobia is Ornithoscelidaphobia, fear of dinosaurs.
  9. Guys who wear nice shoes turn me head over heels.
  10. My favourite childhood toy was Lego.

Does this help in self-disclosure? I hope yes. Guess I must learn not only to take from others, but to give as well.

Signed off,

PANG YUEN CHENG (QUEENIE)

Persuading someone to buy something

Ever had a salesman come up to you and trying to persuade you to buy something you absolutely don't need, but you end up buying it anyway? Hasn't happened to me before, but how is it possible for them to perusade, to interest you in their products? Its mainly in the form of communication that they apply.

They dress formally to appear clean, legitabe, and professional. When they approach they are extremely friendly to try and win your trust. After the have introduced themself and managed to make you feel somewhat comfortable being around them, they try and find out what interests you and introduce their product. Since they had already managed to create somewhat of a relationship with you, you are more inclined to listen to what they say and since they might have also established some trust towards them, you are more likely to belif what they say.

Some of them have the ability to convince, they are able to convince you that you need their product eventhough you really dont. Although this sort of salesman arent all to common, when they do appear and let them talk, you usually end up with somethin really useless. You should always be skepticle of what they tell you and always look at the negatives more then the positives if you know that you dont really need the product.

Dont buy something from someone unless you are really need it and seems legitable. Even if the sales man is your frind or a seemingly reliable person.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Indication















Actually the design of the cars is a kind of non-verbal message. Car design can indicate the owner of the car, for instance the style and character of the car owner. Some people will put the cartoon pictures on the car's layer, it may be meant that the owner still have "child" mentality. The other example is some car will put exaggerate design, this meant the car owner may be wanted attract the attention from other or he/she wanted the car be specific.


Even some car will wrote the name of the car owner themselves. However, some car owner will maintain the original look of the car.Undeniable, design of car really reflect the car owner's mentality. and the thing is......I got a surprised from my parent, thanks daddy and mummy^^

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Impressions and Perceptions Change

They say first impressions are everything; I disagree to a certain extent. I feel that impressions and perceptions change over time, just as the way we communicate with each other. I am stating this through my experience during the Nomad Adventure camp, as explained in my previous post.

On Saturday morning, we had to rise early as breakfast was served at 7.30am and the truck that was taking us to Gua Tempurung for caving was leaving at 8.30am. The ride to the cave was really fun as all of us were standing on an open air truck. When we arrived, to prevent ourselves from being backtracked as there were a lot of visitors, we went into the cave through the back, unlike everyone else. In the cave, it was dark and wet, and we were told to bring torch lights.

In the cave, there were many obstacles which hindered our movement, and at most parts we had to crawl, and even some where we had to do the "commander crawl". However, the most challenging part was where we were required to climb up a steep slope to continue our exploration. The boys, being stronger than girls, went up the slope first. Most of them stationed themselves at parts of the slops, to help the other boys and girls up. At this point, my perception towards the boys completely changed, it was not everyday I saw the leaderships qualities of a person being revealed. I never knew that they had it in them. I could see the teamwork among us, the feeling that nobody would be ever left behind.

On Sunday, we we went to mountain school to rope climb. In this activity, four groups of nine members were required to rope climb. However, as there were only three courses available, our team was the last to start the activity. Our team decided to do the second course first, and it was rope climbing in a cave. Feirdhauz, being our group leader, made sure that he was the last to go, so that he could make sure that everyone would be fine. This action gained my respect towards him, as I never saw him as one with such responsible traits.

After the camp, my perceptions towards most the boys, especially Feirdhauz and Joshua, completely changed. This clearly proves that impressions towards people can be changed. Therefore, if you worry that your first impression has been tarnished, no worries. Be yourself. In time people will eventually see through you, and there will be hope to redeem yourself! (Or fall further into unfavorable and "avoid-at-all-costs" category)


Written by,
Hooi Kit Wei

Friday, June 12, 2009

GPS

GPS...Yesterday, my family came to KL to have an "1-day-trip" , because now is the school holiday of primary and secondary schools. Every time they went to the unfamiliar places especially KL, my daddy must use GPS to guide him. But yesterday, maxis and hotlink had occur ed some network problem that lead me difficult to contact to my family.

When I in the car, I realized that my daddy brought 2 GPS and he used both of the GPS on the same time...Oh~~it really confused us...Both GPS spoke at the same time, however, both of the GPS doesn't gave the same instruction although we set both GPS at the same destination. 1st GPS told us to turned left however 2nd GPS told us to turned right~~~~

It was really really confused, we have to interpreted and decided which is the right instruction~~ We have to understand and respond to it immediately, because you know the situation on the road in KL - Busy and Rush city!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Acting

There are many actors in this world, the rich and famous movie stars are some of them. However, i'm not going to be talking about them in this post. I'm gonna talk about how people act in their everyday lives, how we act and the possible reasons for doing this.

One reason for why we act? To conciel what we are actually thinking or feeling. All of us do this. Everyday i believe although it seems alot more difficult at times than at others. It all depends. Some people are really good at this form of acting others not so. Possible reasons for this? Being polite is one, or you just want to act as if nothing is wrong.

Another way we act is by acting to be something we actually arent. For example a person may act as if he/she is a friend but in truth he/she is your enemy only waiting to help bring you to your downfall. Sadly this is a fact and these people do exist only to complicate your life. There are also those, however, that are more harmless, those that act to be something more then they actually are. Although these are more harmless, they are also usually of a negative side. Example, a person pretends to be from a rich background. Reasons for this acting? One is TRUST. Another, to improve their image or get close to a person or group. Also it help to learn about things that they have a motive for.

Others act just for the fun of it. Pretending to be offended, being sad for pity, or just to see what can happen if they act differently towards other people. And this is a fact, people will always behave differently and act differently with different people.

The conclusion of this is that most people spent more time acting to be something else and for different porposes then they spent time being thamselves.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Time Changes Everything

It's funny how just spending three days two nights with others could change your perception and relationship towards them. It's even funnier how just going camping with others could tighten your bond with others more than you could ever never imagine. It was after the Nomad Adventure leadership camp in Gopeng, Perak when I noticed how spending time with others can significantly change how we communicate. This leadership camp was organized by Help Matriculation Center (HMC) on the 5th June 2009(Friday) to 7th June 2009(Sunday).

At the campsite, known as Earth Camp, we were allocated our dorms and we settled in. We arrived the camp at about 5.30pm on Friday, and were given instructions to meet outside in an open area at about 6.20pm. At that gathering, our facilitator, Nisha, gave us a briefing on the activities and rules about the camp. Later, we had dinner.

After dinner, Nisha told us to get into groups of nine, choose a group leader and give ourselves a team name. My team consisted of Feirdhauz, Katrin, Pheoric, Bryan, Xin Yi, Jasneeta, Htu Htu, Pei Wun and I. We chose Feirdhauz as our leader, and called ourselves the "Rubber Slippers". Before forming this team, I barely knew any of them, except for Xin Yi, but after working as a team through out the camp activities, the friendship we have built is steadfastly strong. After a few short activities and dinner, we were dismissed and we had the whole night to ourselves.

That night, after taking a shower, many of us gathered around Xin Yi and my bed to chat the night away. It all started with only Xin Yi and I sitting on our beds, then joined by a whole group of people. This group of people were people I do not often mingle with in college, but after that night of bonding, everything has changed. Now that we are back in college, we see each other in a different light, and we acknowledge each other whenever we meet; sharing a new found friendship. It's an incredible feeling.

Through this camp, I have come to realize that just by spending a little bit more time with another person, a bond grows whether you want it to or not. If this was one of this camp's objective, it was a roaring success. Building friendships, like many other things, take time, as it is famously said" Rome was not built in one day". We must learn patience, tolerance and compromise to build bonds and friends so that our lives may be richer and less lonely.


Written by,
Hooi Kit Wei

Husband and Wife

I've noticed this for a while, with my parents and other couples. Yesterday i was talking to my parents and this topic came up and it was really interesting as we sat there for quite a while laughing about this. what were we talking about? How couples go out, come home, and basically how they behave towards each other.

Have you ever noticed when a couple or family goes shopping and the wife buys and looks at everything and the husband just waits outside till they or she is done? The main difference between a man shopping and a woman shopping is that the man just takes what he needs and gets out from there as fast as possible, the woman however will stand and look at everything and buy more things then she came for. this is the main difference i've noticed. My parents are like that, and it doesnt seem very uncommon. Once we went shopping and we saw this family, father, nother and children. i think it was at the 'reject shop' in ampang park, the mother and children went in and looked at everything, the poor father stood to the side and checked if he had enough money in the wallet. Sometimes i wonder how much the poor husband has to go through when it is shopping time.

Whats even funnier is when you meet someone in a restorant or mamak having a drink alone, ask them what they are doing, they reply "here i have my peace for a while.. as soon as i go home my wife will be nagging at me non stop, so i rather be here alone and enjoy". Although sad i've heard of many people who go through this and do this. Some husbands are so afraid of their wifes that they pretend not to see them when they pass by. One of my dad's friends is a good example; his wife was just driving home past them not all too far away, so my dad said "hey, thats your wife" and his friend turns to the other side and pretends not to see her.

It seems to me that couples have to put up quite alot in their lives with thier partners, and this goes both ways. moral of this? not sure. Perhaops dont get married? Not exactly, but perhaps to learn to give the your other half the space he/she needs and to be considerate of the other person as well. Hope my married life in the future wont be as complicated.

Its really funny to observe these kind of things. If you get the chance try it out!!

Sunday, June 7, 2009

NON-VERBAL LANGUAGE: What Would Your First Word For Me Be? Part 2

And this creates a sequel to this story. *click*

Sometimes when I least expect to see him, I would get the chance. I remembered that I triple-checked as I couldn't believe my eyes that he came back. I pretended that I didn't realize his existence however he spotted me. He turned and nodded as a greeting or gesture. I replied with a nod but was too genuinely nervous that I forgot to smile. When I reached home, he asked if I saw him smiling because he thought I ignored him. I explained I saw but not that smile he gave me and I nodded to his gesture, too. I was startled that a single nod can create so many misunderstandings.

The second time occurred when I was rushing into a room to get a seat. Suddenly I heard a knock on the see-through glass next to me. I turned and there he was. He smiled and waved hi. I mouthed hi and waved back. Because we were blocked by the see-through glass, all we could do was to communicate through hand signals. Then, I asked using my hands why he was there. He told me he needed to settle somethings. Nevertheless, we both felt it was difficult to carry on the conversation and continued with our own tasks. Cliche but so true. We were so close, yet so far.

Despite meeting him for countless times. I never know how does his voice sound like. Not even when he's speaking to others as he passes me because he speaks so softly. Yes, he says hi everytime he sees me. But I'm unsure if he just mouthed the word or the crowd roars overcome his tiny voice. Due to time constraint, I doubt if I would ever get to have a face-to-face conversation with him. I no longer want to figure out his non-verbal language puzzle anymore.

Don't be cold towards me. T_T

Signed off,
PANG YUEN CHENG (QUEENIE)

NON-VERBAL LANGUAGE: What Would Your First Word For Me Be? Part 1

Sam and I was wandering aimlessly along the corridor. I never like a new beginning because I have to get used to it all over again. Sometimes I'm very tired and scared of this cycle. We were both talking and suddenly I spotted him. We both exchanged stares. Three seconds. I turned away.

That was how it all began. Those stares keep me looking forward to start another day. It has slowly became a rhythm where I would definitely bump into him on Thursdays. Eventually, we recognized each other by stares, attires and actions but not voices. For 14 weeks, there weren't even greetings or gestures from neither one of us. No introductions but those three-second-stares. No smiles but those three-second-stares which held a lot of hidden meanings.

Every Thursday night, I would try to figure out what did those stares from him would have meant? I guess it would either be "interested" or "not interested" in me. But I think the answer will probably be not interested. I didn't know a thing about him, not even his name. By height, he's tall. By size, he has a leaned body. By dressing, he could afford international brands. By actions, he's modest, laid back, shy, quiet and down-to-earth. By looks, I believe he has a great personality.

In the end, I gathered my courage just to add him on Facebook. I was too simple-minded but friends thought we were progressing sell and it marked a good starting point. On Facebook, we exchanged interests and the likes but have nothing in common. Opposite attracts, eh? All these short messages summed up to 59 of them in less than a month. Unfortunately, he ended it all because my last message ended with "take care". He must has assumed I would never want or need his replies anymore. Sometimes there are things which could hardly be explained in words. I tried my very best to insert as many smileys and emoticons to make me sound friendly and cheerful. Even his messages do not contain a single smiley, I know that doesn't mean he is not happy. Maybe not happy, at least neutral.

Please feed me with your messages. =(


Signed off,
PANG YUEN CHENG (QUEENIE)

Friday, June 5, 2009

Yesterday, when I was in college, My younger sister sent me a message and the content was: "Tomorrow daddy will go to Malacca Pantai Hospital to proceed operation". I really taken aback and shocked on this message. Immediately, without thinking other thing, my first reaction was give a call to my dad, I am really confused on that time, because I don't know my dad suffered from any illness ( my dad healthy is consider normal ). MY dad told me that he was felt sickness and uncomfortable last night and he said kept vomit for whole night until he can't endured and went to see the doctor. And doctor verified that my dad suffered from "Gall bladder".

Again, my mum told me don't have to worried about my dad ( I know she scared me get distraction from this of my study). However, I know it is not a serious case, but I felt like something is burning in my heart and I felt very pain...really...The operation is progress today. I woke up at 7 a.m and straightforward called my mum to know whether they are in the journey to the hospital or not. I asked my mum to passed over the phone to dad, I asked about dad's felling and he afraid or not? This is the first time to my dad having an operation. And dad answered me :" It is ok to me." ( Doubt...because his sound was smooth and voice was low). A simple answer. The operation began at 12.42 p.m and last to 3.54 p.m. My younger sister told me all the timer and she also sent me a picture before dad send to operating theatre.

Is this the picture show that :" It is ok to me"?? I don't think so. From my dad facial express, posture and gesture, I can felt whatever dad told me just to hidden some emotion to me. The early message that younger sister sent to me is an insufficiency message. She don't make clarify what actually happened to dad, she make me get into tension so much. After the operation, younger sister gave me a call and told me that, inside dad's eyes got tear, I know how much the painful suffered to my dad. Doctor only injected 4 narcotic injection to narcosis the area of body part that have to be progress. I think the narcoticness is not enough to covered the pain...I felt very sorry to dad cause I can beside him...

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

embarrassing accidents

I'm pretty sure that all of us have had their embarrassing moment before, like spilling a drink, walking into a post or wall, or perhaps slipping on a banana skin. Although these accidents can be very embarrassing and even painful to the unfortunate victim, people around tend to find it rather funny. This might be mean but as we say "one mans joy is another mans poison".

For instance, a couple of friends were walking back from pavillion when a member of a group of boys hit his head on a sign post. Looked pretty painful. What really made me and my friends laugh though was that this elderly white lady just started laughing out laud at him! Was more funny than the poor guy hitting his head on the sign post which everyone was laghing about anyway.

Another incident involved me. I went to McD with my family, and after ordering i helped my dad carry a tray with four drinks, a burger, and tomato sauce. I just had this feeling that that was a bad idea. How right i was. We had to go down some stairs and on the last or second last step i slipped. Somehow, you have to give me some credit for this, i managed to safe the burger, tissues, tomato sauce, and two drinks, and myself without spilling anything on me. Sadly not entirelly perfect. The other two drinks went crashing to the ground. The people started giggling and i joined them.

As i said before, "one mans joy, another mans poison".

cheers and goodnight for now!!

Things You Should Not Do During Presentations


Have you watched the video above? What can you tell about this person just from his presentation?Having to do presentations has been one of the significant changes in my education. Ever since the beginning of the course, presentations are a requirement, an area totally alien to me prior to this. During previous presentations, I have learned that we unconsciously send out messages through our body language. As you can see from the embedded video, the man is not capable of delivering his speech effectively to his audience due to a few reasons which are discussed in this post.

The first thing we got to pay attention to is our attire during our presentation. The clothes we wear play a significant role in determining your effort and professionalism. This is because even before you open your mouth to present, the first thing the audience will notice about you is your outfit. What you wear, determines your status. Even in college, we are encouraged to wear formal attire during our presentations to show formality. In this video, the man is wearing a Microsoft t-shirt, which is casual wear. His shirt projects the little effort he actually has put into his presentation or speech.

Secondly, the way we stand and our posture also affects the ability to deliver a good presentation. Usually, I always make a conscious effort to stand up straight when conducting a presentation as our posture actually reflects the amount of confidence we have in ourselves. As you can see, the man in the video is slumped and slouched, with his hands crossed over his chest. His slouched body indicates that he has no confidence in himself, and possible has a low self-esteem as well.

Next, eye contact with the audience is also very important. When presenting, having constant eye contact with the listeners is crucial as this can prevent them from drifting away into their own worlds. It also shows the interest in presenting a certain topic. However, it is also vital to know that one should not only make eye contact with part of the audience, but at best most of the audience. The man in the video however, constantly keeps his head down and looks down throughout his whole presentation. How can he expect the audience to listen to him when it does not even seem like he is talking to them?

Finally, the most important reason that caused him to unsuccessfully present was his tone of voice. The tone of his voice was constant throughout the video, also known as monotone, and has a higher chance of inducing sleep among his audience. Therefore during presentations, I usually try to use different tones of my voice to prevent the audience from being bored or sleepy.

Overall, it can be safely said that our presentations are greatly affected by non-verbal communication, such as our dressing, posture and eye contact and also verbal communication such as the tone of our voice. Hence, when presenting, all these aspects of communication need to be taken into consideration to successfully conduct a presentation that will be effective as well as entertaining.


Written by,
Hooi Kit Wei

Night Market

Last night, I went to night market and I observed that in night market have several type of communication between seller and buyer. Let's talk about seller first. Nowadays, seller no only just use their mouth shout out their products to customers, however, they even used media to promote they products, for instance, radio ( recorded the speaker talked about and played it ), video ( demonstrated the process of using the product ), mic ( used mic to enlarge their volume ), the reason for these media have been used is to draw customers attention. The technique and the style choose to communicate will absolutely effect the customer wheater come forward to seller or not. Some seller was aggressive but some was passive. Passive seller just sat there and wait customer come forward to them.

For us as the customers, we have freedom to choose and purchase any things that we want to be. Usually, I will patronized the booth which the seller look friendly but not aggressive felt like pushing you buy their things and even attractive. If the seller is show something different from other, curious customers will come forward to them. And yes, sometimes we have to bargain with seller, seller have to pay attending, understand and response to us. Of course it is good if you purchase the thing with reasonable price. Generally, we will patronize the stall again and even introduce to our friends and family. Once a while, you can observe that when the bargain will occur non-verbal form of communication. Buyer just gesture their price with hand, nod head (deal) and shake head ( not satisfy).

In night market you can see that several languages are used. Some female seller can act like male seller, the way she spoke ( power language ) and body movement are similar. In night market, all sorts of communication you can seen. So, if you are free, just go to night market and experience it!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Giving Gifts as a Form of Non-verbal Communication

Just last night, my sister and I were discussing what to buy for my father's birthday and father's day, which happens to be the day after his birthday. Getting two gifts at once. Double the trouble. Personally, I feel that buying a gift for guys is definitely much harder than getting one for girls. For girls, accessories and soft toys can easily be picked up as a gifts but for guys, other than shirts, what else is there within our budget that we can buy for them? Besides gender being the factor influencing the type of gift we give, the relationship between the person is also considered. As such, giving different types of gifts can be considered as a type of non-verbal communication.

During festive seasons, such as Christmas, giving presents to each other has become a tradition. In fact, giving presents during this type of celebration acts as a message in a form of a greeting. For example, giving a gift to friends during Christmas celebration simply means that you are wishing them "Merry Christmas!". For celebrations like these, the gifts bought usually are related to the celebration itself. Like the mugs being sold in gift shops during the festive season. However, the gifts bought also depends on the interests as well as the history and relationship you have had with the other party.

Furthermore, during special "days" such as mother's or father's day, the give gifts to our parents act as a form of non-verbal communication which shows and tells them how much we appreciate and love them. For instance, last year, for father's day, my sister and I bought a bottle of my dad's favorite wine for him to thank him for being such a great father. Another special "day" includes Valentines Day. It is the day where lovers confess and shower each other with flowers and gifts that prove their love. It is the perfect way for shy and reserved people to say "I love you" without stuttering and turning red in the face, since this does not require one to verbally say so.

Special "days" celebration also include birthdays. Gifts given during birthdays often convey the greeting "Happy Birthday!" and are usually given to acknowledge the fact that you have turned one year older and hopefully wiser. This year, for my best friend's birthday, eight of us contributed to buy a present and we managed to get him a nice stripe sweater from Padini, a great photo frame with a picture of all nine of us together and a yummy chocolate cake. The photo frame with the picture is a perfect example to show that the gift was not only given as a birthday present, but also acted as a form of non-verbal communication. The photo frame with a picture of nine of us together signified that we acknowledged the fact that we were very close friends and no matter what happens, we want him to remember us.

Besides that, the types of gifts you give to your "other half" also is a type of non-verbal communication. The gifts you choose for your partner will definitely vary from the gifts you get for your friends or even parents, for it gives different messages to the other person. The amount of money one is willing to spend for these kind of gifts is also usually much more than usual. The gifts couples give each other for example, is to assure the other party that they are "the one" and that they have undying love for each other. Moreover, a box of chocolates a guy gives a girl after a fight could appease the anger and prove more effective than a verbal apology.

At the end of the day, giving presents is a wonderful alternative to having to verbally say "I love you", "I'm sorry", "Thank you" and the likes. It definitely gets messages across; and it is definitely fun to receive. What a wonderful way to communicate! "Think of giving not as a duty but as a privilege." (John D. Rockefeller Jr.).


Written by,
Hooi Kit Wei

newspaper

today most newspapers are owned by the governments of that country. The freedom of press is therefore not exactly what it is supposed to be. As these newspapers are owned by the government, the government can decide on what should be printed and to what extend an issue is allowed to be printed.
An example of this newspaper would be THE STAR. It is more pro government and therefore puts more positve views on government issues. They report with different effects and enthusiasm on different topics. I belief that this is the case in most countries and newspapers. They focus the light on issues the way the government wants them to.
i prefer readin The Sun newspaper because they keep it short and simple and dont report so much of the political things that tend to be influenced alot. i hope that this will change and that the newspapers will not stay a way to influence people and to be a mode of publication for political views and sides.

Monday, June 1, 2009

LISTENING : You've Changed.

"If you are a talker, take a break and spend your day listening. Only talk when you have to."


That was what I did a few days ago. As usual, I woke up without the presence of my sister because her classes start earlier than mine. Therefore, I would only get to see her after noon or later in the evening when we both arrive home from school. That is the only time before we get busy with our own works at night. Since I have decided to be a listener for the whole day, I gave my sis a chance to spill out whatever she had or wanted to say.

She began with a minor drama with her best friend all the way until her problems in her studies. She claimed that she never had a perfect friend who could satisfy her 24/7, when she always tolerates with everyone around her. Apart from that, she also shared about her crush towards the hottest guy in school. While I was listening, many words popped up into my mind but I knew that I was supposed to listen, not talk. She almost let out her tears during all these explanations.

Even though I did not mention anything about myself, she could tell what was on my mind. My sister guided me with her very mature and faultless opinions to help solve my problems. I never knew that she needed a crying shoulder so badly. And I never knew that she was this full-grown because normally, I am the one who speaks the most. I felt a little agitated because I have underestimated her all this while. Perhaps this is because she is four years younger. Nevertheless, she pointed out a lot of my negative habits, such as being indecisive and unwillingly to accept others' opinions with an opened-mind.

By the end of the day, I took some time to realise that I always have someone by my side. Last but not least, I would like to wish her a Happy Sweet 15 and I will always treasure her.

Signed off,
PANG YUEN CHENG ( QUEENIE)