Yes, Joyi once told me there is an impromptu speech to be done in Human Comm. I was petrified in class because Sir actually refreshed my memory. Actually I don't feel anything wrong with it because I believe no matter how difficult the task is, you will still get it done in the end. It all depends whether you do it successfully or otherwise.
But the other day was different. I began to worry about the speech. It looked more like a motivation class rather than the usual lecture class. Suddenly Sir asked, "Who is the best?". Deep down inside, I knew the answer should be ME. A few of us actually said it out. I almost cried because I felt very stressed. I didn't want to say out my answer. I don't want to make a promise to anyone but I break it. Self-motivational books I have read a lot. Motivation camps and seminars I have been to many. The problem is inside me. I still don't own the courage to be bold enough to hold to my own beliefs.
Sometimes I like to stay quiet in class because I'm afraid of getting the wrong answers. There are times someone else have spoken my answers and they get the compliments. Who doesn't enjoy compliments? Sometimes I'd be brave, unfortunately, my answers are wrong. And I started to think a lot about why I can't live up to someone's expectations. But most of all, what I fear most is the way how someone judges me based on my feedback.
In an informal conversation with friends, I always lie to myself. Just because I don't want any bad consequences or circumstances, I conform with other people's thoughts even I have my own way of seeing it. I would rather be dumb or shallow-minded rather than to debate with someone else. Daddy taught me to be humble and talk when you're supposed to, listen when you're supposed to. And I also believe that we don't have to let the whole world knows what we know because it all doesn't really matter. What matters the most is whether we, ourselves truly understand it or we're just pretending to understand.
In class, I can tell many of us, excluding me, are very competitive. Not only they are good in academics but also in sports. And what makes me feel small is that I'm one year elder then the rest but I seem nothing. I never get to be the best but always come in second place. Even if I'm the best, I'm always sharing the position with someone else. Why can't it be only me?
As for the impromptu speech, I will probably go with the flow and must have a positive mind set. Meanwhile I shall just see what's in store for the up-coming lectures related to public speaking. Even if I won't be scoring for the speech, at least I have do my best. I don't think I will ever regret.
Signed off,
PANG YUEN CHENG (QUEENIE)
But the other day was different. I began to worry about the speech. It looked more like a motivation class rather than the usual lecture class. Suddenly Sir asked, "Who is the best?". Deep down inside, I knew the answer should be ME. A few of us actually said it out. I almost cried because I felt very stressed. I didn't want to say out my answer. I don't want to make a promise to anyone but I break it. Self-motivational books I have read a lot. Motivation camps and seminars I have been to many. The problem is inside me. I still don't own the courage to be bold enough to hold to my own beliefs.
Sometimes I like to stay quiet in class because I'm afraid of getting the wrong answers. There are times someone else have spoken my answers and they get the compliments. Who doesn't enjoy compliments? Sometimes I'd be brave, unfortunately, my answers are wrong. And I started to think a lot about why I can't live up to someone's expectations. But most of all, what I fear most is the way how someone judges me based on my feedback.
In an informal conversation with friends, I always lie to myself. Just because I don't want any bad consequences or circumstances, I conform with other people's thoughts even I have my own way of seeing it. I would rather be dumb or shallow-minded rather than to debate with someone else. Daddy taught me to be humble and talk when you're supposed to, listen when you're supposed to. And I also believe that we don't have to let the whole world knows what we know because it all doesn't really matter. What matters the most is whether we, ourselves truly understand it or we're just pretending to understand.
In class, I can tell many of us, excluding me, are very competitive. Not only they are good in academics but also in sports. And what makes me feel small is that I'm one year elder then the rest but I seem nothing. I never get to be the best but always come in second place. Even if I'm the best, I'm always sharing the position with someone else. Why can't it be only me?
As for the impromptu speech, I will probably go with the flow and must have a positive mind set. Meanwhile I shall just see what's in store for the up-coming lectures related to public speaking. Even if I won't be scoring for the speech, at least I have do my best. I don't think I will ever regret.
Signed off,
PANG YUEN CHENG (QUEENIE)
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