Verbal Aggression

People who are verbally aggressive does not mean that use foul words, but instead it means that they use harsh and demeaning words to make you feel useless and worthless. They shout at you and tend to exaggerate small problems, creating conflicts out of things that could have been otherwise solved easily. However, to be honest, when I was younger, I used to practise verbal aggression when things did not go my way. Personally, I feel that there are three main factors that caused me to use verbal aggression.

When I was under stress or anxiety, I tended to be more verbally aggressive. For your information, verbal aggression has been proven to be a type of defense mechanism generally used to deal with excessive anxiety. When I felt that I was under a lot much pressure, I needed to release it in some way or another.This was especially obvious when I was about to go for an examination or desperately needed to complete a task to meet the appointed deadline. When put under these situations, I would most of the time have shouted at others for no reason, making it seem like it was their fault. 'As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons' (Max Ehrmann).

The other factor included hunger. As the saying goes, 'A hungry man is an angry man'. When I was younger, hunger caused me to get irritated hot tempered very quickly. I would take it out on others by either ignoring them when they were trying to talk to me or by saying demeaning and unpleasant things I would have never said in normal situations. 'Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit' (Max Ehrmann).

The third factor was my occasional low self-esteem. When I did not like the fact that someone else did better than me, I would say harsh and demeaning things to him or her, just to make myself feel better. I would constantly pick on the person's weaknesses and vent my frustrations out on them. 'Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. 'Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time' (Max Ehrmann).

I have grown. I knew these imperfections were my weak traits, so I have tried my very best to control myself, constantly reminding myself that I must learn to blend with my peers, accept defeat and bask in whatever glory I deserve. 'If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself' (Max Ehrmann).

Today, the poem Desiderata, written by Max Ehrmann in 1920, is my mantra to being a better person, a more tolerant person, a happier person. I'm still working towards it.


Written by,
Hooi Kit Wei